I remember that my first contact with the writing was about twenty years ago, when I was six and I was in first grade in primary school. All those days where full of lines and suddenly we started to write short dictations that Miss Torres took from "Aesop's fables", once she had read one.
I remember that I really enjoy when she told us fables. And, finishing first grade, I thought a fable was a short story that gave you a message and it did not matter whether the main carachter was or not an animal. That is why when I had to write "My own fable", at the end of first grade, I write something like: "Once upon at time a little girl wanted to play in the park but her mom did not let her go out, then the little girl decided to go to the park on her own, and when she was swinging she fell and as result she died".
The next day Miss Torres send a note to my mom, she wanted to talk her about me, because she thought it was not normal that a little boy write negative things like that. I felt very bad, I thought I was silly or something, my mom did not tell me anything about it, but I learnt there are a lot of things you can not say because other people do not like, moreover when you are in school you have to write what your teacher expects.
Hello!
ReplyDeleteWell, I think that experience you had when you were a child is a very regrettable one, because I don’t find anything wrong on your fable and also because those kind of situation make us miss the pleasure for reading and writing. Besides that your fable has a message we can find in other fables like in “Rin Rin Renacuajo” where the Frog dies.
To talk about formal aspects of your writing I think there are a couple of things you could change: the word “character”, check spelling, “as result” i think we say “as a result”, I think is better to say “she wanted to talked to her about me” and finally I think you can say “…that a little boy wrote negative things like that”.
Nice text, see you.